Russian Revolution - OverSimplified (Part 1)

Get your new character pins and Russian revolution merch, available now.

Hey Jimmy, it’s the 1800s, an exciting time to be alive. Why don’t you get out there and explore the world?

Gee whiz mum, thanks. This place is amazing. Where am I?

Why you’re in France, my boy. Liberty, equality, fraternity.

Whoa! Welcome to the United Kingdom.

Here, we invented the train. All aboard. Holy smokes. You’re in a German factory, my friend. Here, we harness fire and coal to create all these sexy lederhosen. This is incredible. I can’t wait to see where Ill end up next. Where am I?

You’re in Russia. Have I gone back in time?

No, this is just how it is. Are you a farmer?

Worse, technically, my landlord owns me which makes me a serf. I’m scared. You should be because I haven’t eaten in four days and you look pretty tasty. Hey Jimmy, how were your travels?

I hate you. Russia, in the 19th century. Feudal, underdeveloped and stuck in the past. While the rest of Europe had been modernizing and improving their citizens lives. Russia rulers were taking a different approach. My Lord, were falling behind the rest of Europe. 

\

It’s time to industrialize. Give the people rights and share your power. Russian Tsars had no time for pathetic ideas like liberty and modernization because they were too busy having the time of their lives while the serfs were breaking their backs in the fields, the Tsars held all the power and they didn’t have to listen to anyone. Want to run the country like a backwards feudal kingdom while the rest of your pack paces humanitarian and economically, go right ahead.

Want to keep the people on educated so they don’t get any ideas?

There’s no one to stop you. Want to keep exporting grain even when there’s a massive famine causing hundreds of thousands to die?

That is your God given right. because Russia was falling behind. If they were to keep up with Europe they need a strong ruler with some big ideas. Oh, look here comes one now. Hey everyone, it’s me Tsar Alexander the second and I’ve got some big news. I’m releasing you all from your serfdom. You’re all free. Yep, I’m the best. Oh, there is one thing though. I spoke to your local lords So as a compromise, you’re all gonna have to pay them back in near impossible amount of money for the next 49 years. Expect your lives to barely change.

Okay, bye. Now, I know what you’re thinking. This Tsar Alexander the second seems like a pretty cool guy. He’s trying to reform the country and get Russia on the right path. Everyone must love this guy, right, wrong. Why does one man get to decide fate of everyone in the country? This whole system is dumped. Somebody should do something. Like what?

Like kill the Tsar. You’re gonna kill the Tsar?

Well me, no, I’m busy. I was kind of hoping you’d do it, okay. See the people love me. They’re throwing flowers, confetti and high-grade explosives.

Okay Nicholas, your grandfather has a mild case of being blown up by a terrorist and he’s not looking too hot. So were gonna go say our goodbyes, okay?

No, it’ll be too scary for him. Nonsense, it won’t be scary at all. Were just gonna say a quick goodbye, ready?

Boy, look at me. See it wasn’t scary at all. So Alexander the second was dead, but luckily they had another Alexander lying around. Alexander the third and he felt his dads reforms had weakened the Tsars authority. Russia was massive. And as a result had many ethnic minorities. than in loving me, isn’t it great?

So much beautiful culture and diversity in our great nation. Alexander thought all these minorities should be a little more Russian and thereby loyal to him. So he repressed religious minorities. He repressed non Russians. He introduced the Korana. A secret police force that repressed anybody who thought having a Tsar was dumb. If Alexander the second was the great reformer Alexander the third was the great repressor. Now that’s how you run a country. 

Oh great, it’s my son Nicholas, who I like to call a girly girl because he’s so weak and pathetic. When are you gonna grow up?

But dad, I grew a beard. Yeah, an ugly girly girl beard. If Nicholas was to one day be Tsar. He needed his dad to teach him how to run the country. But his dad instead suggested that Nicholas goes somewhere else. Now, will you teach me how to rule?

I suppose it’s time. Okay, there’s a lot you need to know before becoming Tsar, uh oh, what?

I’ve got kidney inflammation. Upon his father’s death, a totally unprepared Nicholas the second ascended to the Russian throne. He wasn’t a reformer like his grandfather nor was he a repressor like his dad. Nicholas was Nicholas.

Timid, easily swayed and more interested in doing whatever the hell this is or this or this. He wasn’t ready to rule. And he himself admitted it saying I’m not yet ready to be Tsar. I know nothing of the business of ruling.

However, Nicholas firmly believed that he was chosen by God to be Russia big daddy. And while he doubted his ability to rule, he was gonna give it his best shot. And hey, who knows?

Maybe he wouldn’t be so bad after all. To get things off to a good start. Nicholas promised free pretzels and beer So enticing a proposition to starving peasants that the ensuing stampede left nearly 1500 people dead. What the hell happened?

We’re not sure, but you’re scheduled to go party with the French at eight o’clock. Shouldn’t I stay here out of respect for the people?

When have Russian Tsars ever respected the people?

Nicholas decision to go party with the French immediately tarnished his image. Some were calling him Nicholas the bloody. The Tsars had been partying hard at the expense of the people for long enough that emancipated the serfs but failed to lift them out of poverty. They used their secret police and they had failed to modernize and give the people rights.

Something the rest of Europe had begun doing over a century ago. and more and more Russians began wondering if there was a better way. For many, the solution was simple. Just look to the West, republics, democracies and constitutional monarchies galore. But a small growing group rejected that for an even better idea, a little something they called communism. 

Take Vladimir Lenin an intelligent member of Russia middle-class and also a massive ill-tempered jerk. If you disagreed with him about anything he wasn’t afraid to call you out. You fat headed simple-minded vapid cockeyed imbecile Tender heart Bear is a far superior care bear to Bedtime Bear. And he was no stranger to political unrest either. His older brother was executed for plotting to kill the Tsar and Lenin himself was expelled from university for participating in a student protest.

But how did Lenin go from being a middle-class nerd to the arbiter of socialist divinity?

Well, to tell that story, we first need to go back a few decades to when a man named Karl Marx, wrote a manifesto explaining how capitalism is a system where by the stinky British oppressed and exploded the working masses and that only through class warfare, could the workers rise up and estate a communist utopia. Now go back forward a few decades to Lenin reading that manifesto and loving it. But publicly admitting you loved Marx and not Russia big daddy would get you the cruelest punishment imaginable, exile to Siberia.

Enjoy exile where you’ll live with your wife chill around town and secretly write socialists newspapers. Hey, that doesn’t sound so bad. And your mother-in-laws going to live with you, no! Once Lenin finished his stint in Siberia. He left Russia for Europe where he was free to hang out with other Russian Marxists and talk about how great communism was. 

Now today, you might hear the word communism and think of this. But that’s not how intellectuals living under a Tsarist regime saw it. To them, communism promised the land where all were equal, where workers weren’t exploited So Lenin joined a party of Russian communists living in Europe and he founded a communist newsletter that was smuggled into Russia to try to radicalize the people.

However, not everyone in the socialist party agreed with Lenin. and Lenin was so uncompromising that he caused a split in the party. During one conference, a heated debate broke out and Lenin was unwilling to give an inch. You pig ignorant, half-witted fatuous morons, cereal is a soup. Listen, Lenin, you’re a smart guy, Were out of here. All in favor of cereal being a soup. Hey, would you look at that, were in the majority. So Lenin set up his own faction within the party.

He called the Majority or Bolshevik if you’re speaking Russian and the other faction became known as the Minority or Menshevik. And oddly, the majority were often in the Minority and the minority in the Majority. The Mensheviks were less radical. Whereas Lenin wanted the Bolsheviks to be loyal to him and his uncompromising ideas.

And if you weren’t loyal well then you’re gonna get a big brain beat down. Mensheviks worried that Lenin’s attitude could lead to a one-man dictatorship, but come up, does this guy look like a dictator to you?

For now Lenin remained in Europe, writing his socialist newspaper and impatiently awaiting an opportunity to overthrow the Tsar and bring communist utopia to Russia. Cool, a free hat. Who the heck are you?

I’m definitely not a Russian secret police officers spying on Marxists. Oh crap, I don’t want secret police watching me. Then you, my friend should use NordVPN. Do you like having your identity stolen?

If yes, you need therapy. If no, you need NordVPN. NordVPN has thousands of super-fast servers in 62 countries that you can connect to, to keep you and your data secure when using the web. with its brand new NordLynx technology.

Have you quarantine binged all of your favorite shows on Netflix?

still banned in your country?

I think you get the point. You can now get NorthVPN with 60% off a two year plan for only 3.71 per month, plus one month free. So click on nordvpn.com/oversimplified in the description below and get protected now. That’ nordvpn.com/oversimplified. Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, a timid easily swayed Tsar, a massive ill-tempered jerk impatiently awaiting a communist revolution. And revolution was coming, but not in the way Lenin thought. Back in St. Petersburg. One of the Tsars most skilled and influential advisors knew the country finally needed to catch up with the rest of Europe.

Hey Nick, we really got to industrialize. Get more factories and make some I don’t know, textiles or something. Wont that change the social fabric of Russia?

Maybe, hey isn’t it past your bedtime?

But I haven’t had my milk and snuggles yet. Will you snuggle me?

Nicholas thought modernization was boring. But he let Sergei do his thing and do his thing he did. He borrowed some money and got Russia some sexy factories. dirt poor, sexy workers. Long hours, low wages, filthy disease-ridden factories, sleep in overcrowded dormitories with all your stinky worker friends. Get your arms ripped off in a freak Russian dole accident conditions were terrible.

But this growing working class wasn’t about to take it lying down. Despite Sergei’s efforts, people in Russia still weren’t happy. Peasants were still poor, liberals still wanted reform. And now the workers wanted better working conditions.

And the problem with being an autocrat is that when everyone’s unhappy there’s only person to blame, you. The people hate me, what do I do?

Ooh, I know, why don’t we find a weak and pathetic nation to go to war with. Well win easily and everyone will love me again. Why don’t we just try treating the people better?

As luck would have it. An opportunity for war was forming in the far East. Russia wanted to expand its sphere of influence into Northern China and coincidentally, so did Japan. But Japan didn’t really want war. Hey man, we’ll let you do your thing in Manchuria. If you let us do our thing in Korea. I don’t think so. We’ve got the largest army in the world, what do you have?

I’m the Emperor of Japan, I have a giant Mecha suit. Whoa, cool. Nicholas and the boys didn’t see Japan as a threat. So they felt they could push Japan around. But little did they know Japan had been rapidly militarizing. And when they launched a surprise attack on a Russian fleet at Port Arthur, everyone was shocked. and regain the support of the people.

Nobody seriously thought a puny Asian country could defeat a European superpower. And the Russian people were filled with patriotic spunk. Hey everyone, were at war with Japan. Hey everyone, were losing the war. The Japanese won, an embarrassing defeat for Tsar Nicholas. Russia had enough problems but now it had been internationally humiliated. 

The public were outraged, unrest increased. Nicholas needed snuggles now more than ever. The tension was rising rapidly and Russia was on the verge of revolution. All it needed was one disaster to push it over the edge. And that disaster would come in January, 1905 from an unlikely source a handsome Orthodox priest named Father Gabon, Father Gabon was leading workers and their families to the winter palace.

But this wasn’t some violent uprising, it was a peaceful protest. They wanted to deliver a petition to Nicholas which simply asked for more freedom and better working conditions. The protest was actually so peaceful and respectful and in his place they brought in a truckload of troops ordered to stop Father Gabon from reaching the palace. 

Hello good, sir and long lived the Tsar. Please, allow me to pass this simple petition towards our dear father Nicholas the second. Good day to you to please, allow us to respond by opening fire. What began as a peaceful protest ended in tragedy. Imperial soldiers opened fire on the crowd. Around 200 civilians died 800 more were wounded. All they wanted was the opportunity to ask Nicholas to improve their lives.

Instead they were met with bullets. Nicholas didn’t personally order the troops to fire, but as an autocrat, he got the blame. The event became known as Bloody Sunday and Nicholas reputation plummeted. Strikes erupted across the empire, workers’ demands increased, liberals demanded political power, peasants demanded land. The country was out of control and the 1905 revolution had begun. Listen Nicholas peasants seizing my land and murdering my family, I can tolerate, but illegally chopping my wood, that’s obscene I don’t get it. 

Everyone relax, as long as the military is still on my side there’s nothing to worry about. Sir, the sailors are starting to mutiny. Well, my life just sucks. With Russia still losing to the Japanese unrest was growing in the military. And some sailors had even taken to killing officers. Having the people against you is bad enough, but if the military joined in, it would be game over. To make matters worse, in October workers in Marxists including one Leon Trotsky began setting up local elected councils called Soviets that coordinated strikes and supplied the workers.

Sergei could see the writing on the wall. Things were going south fast and he needed a big idea to save the Tsar. And luckily he had just that. You see all these angry people from different parts of society weren’t really working together. 

Meaning there was a weakness to exploit. Sergei wrote a manifesto that would give the liberals an elected assembly called the Duma. It took some convincing but eventually Nicholas agreed to share power Hey liberals, here’s your stupid manifesto, happy now?

We certainly are. But what about these guys?

Aren’t you gonna give them what they want?

Oh goodness no. I was just gonna kill them. With the liberal satisfied and after ending the war with Japan. The Tsar thousands of troops home who then dismantled the Soviets, arrested their leaders and crushed the peasant uprisings in the countryside. And how about that pesky parliament Nicholas had agreed to share power with?

Which basically said, hey, remember that manifesto I wrote and how you guys were going to approve my laws?

Slight change of plan. Actually, I’m gonna do whatever the hell I want. And you guys are gonna shut up. What, the people won’t stand for this. People, what people?

This is why people don’t like you. Well Lenin and his communist pals were still in exile. He tried desperately to radicalize the uprising but all he could do was watch as the movements failed to organize the liberal sold out the poor and the Tsar played the people.

Furious, he believed Russia had missed a great chance for a real revolution. From now on, he felt the only way left was an armed revolution by the workers. Watching the events of 1905 unfold Lenin learnt a lot. The Tsar however, would prove to have learned nothing. After the 1905 revolution had failed. The Tsars new top man was Pyotr Stolypin and he had big ideas to prevent any more chaos. 

Step one, reform agriculture this’ll make the peasants love you. And step two, well kill anyone who doesn’t. To discourage any more revolutionary ideas Stolypin began to crack down even harder on the Tsars opponents and thousands were sentenced to death. The news even earned itself a new nickname, Stolypins Necktie, I don’t get it.

Oh, I see. Cause it goes around my neck and that’s so funny. But despite depression many positive reforms were also being made and the Russian economy even began to improve. This a problem for Lenin. If the people weren’t suffering then they wouldn’t support a revolution. Still in exile and lacking funds, the Bolsheviks simply weren’t in a position to do anything. Luckily it was around this time that Lenin met an incredibly handsome Georgian with your second favorite historical mustache, Joseph Stalin.

Lenin and Stalin met at a communist convention in Finland and Lenin liked Stalin because he was a real go getter and was great at fundraising for the Bolsheviks and by fundraising I mean kidnapping, robbing, extorting, bribing, ransoming, assassinating, prison breaking, stealing, bank raiding, executioning and stealing again. He’s Stalin the Mensheviks aren’t so hot in all this stealing, but we still need money. Okay, quietly, got it. If this isn’t quiet, I don’t know what it is. Stalin’s wacky antics eventually got him exiled to Siberia but he had established himself as a big balls Bolshevik.

However, no amount of Bolshevik balls could stop what was happening. The Russian economy was making a recovery. For the Tsar, things were looking up. This is great. All Nicholas has to do is sit back and not mess anything up.

Hey everyone, big news. He’s a crazy, drunken, beardy, horny, scandal ridden magic wizard, man. And he smells like a goat. Were screwed. Rasputin, a dirt poor peasant from dirt poor nowhere. But un-like all the other dirt poor peasants, people began to notice. He quickly became famous and word this mystery man and his healing hands made its way to the royal palace. The appearance of a holy homeless healer was of great interest to the Tsar and his wife.

As far as worlds go, they weren’t that in bred but they were just in bred enough for their son Alexe to get hemophilia or in layman’s terms, mama mea, that’s a lot of blood. Know Rasputin could heal people, in 1906, Alexandra asked for Rasputin to come and see if he could cure their son and crazy as it sounds Rasputin did heal Alexei, possibly by taking him off his doctor prescribed aspirin. Having seemingly done the impossible Rasputin became very, very close to the royal family but he’d also throw these crazy parties with Russian nobility. And nobody knew how the goat got on the roof. 

Initially the press were banned from talking about Rasputin but eventually the ban was lifted and the tabloids went to town. The whole thing was a huge scandal and everyone was freaked out that this guy was influencing the Tsar and his wife. improving his image. 

Instead he spent it doing this, so long as the economy continued to improve and the people’s lives kept getting better, maybe Nick would be okay. Maybe there would be no more revolutions. Maybe this video could even end right here or maybe things were about to get worse, a lot worse. You see the years 1914, and that means it’s for World War One.

The What, Why, and How:Forced-air Furnaces